What I'm WithholdingDo you like doing things that scare the bejesus out of you?

I'm a fan of freaking yourself out – and maybe even others in the process – as long as it's intentional and for a good cause.

Well, I'm extremely intentional in this solo episode as I champion the causes of authenticity, vulnerability, and freedom through letting go.

The first question you may have after listening a bit is, “Wait … did he really go there?” And the answer is, “Yes. Yes I did.”

I've been withholding much of who I was, who I am, and who I want to be for far too long, and that ends now.

But I'm scared. Straight. Up. Scared.

I'm afraid that (just for starters):

  1. My words are too raw, too crude, or I've otherwise screwed up something between my brain and mouth that you'll hear way different than I intended.
  2. People will look down upon me as “unredeemable” in some ways.
  3. There are no “take backs” now that I've hit publish.
  4. I'm a giant hypocrite.
  5. What I say will come across as self-absorbed, self-important, and – more than anything – radically unkind to myself and what I try to represent in the world.
  6. I'll need explain the unexplainable, issue disclaimers, and provide way too much context for people to really understand why I feel the way and I do.

I'm intensely grateful for what and who I have in my life, but I'm super entitled at the same time. I'm a stumbling, bumbling contradiction who's just about done withholding all this crap I've kept inside for years.

So if you want to know how rich I am, how poorly I've treated my dogs, how controlling I get on “leaderless” projects, how bad my sugar binging still is, how much I love putting on a show, how fearful I am to say “I love you,” how much work this lifestyle entrepreneur still does, and why I quit things that seem hard … just press play.

Podcasting is a naturally one-way transmission, but let's change it up now and create a two-way street (as you'll hear me explain towards the end of the episode). Heck, let's make it a roundabout and include friends and family who need this kind of frank conversation, too!

You're about to Learn …

  • Who I was, who I am, and who I want to be – truly and completely.
  • Just how freakin' rich I am.
  • Lots of things I'm scared of by publishing this episode.
  • Why SimpleREV makes me feel like an entitled parent (or spoiled brat).
  • How I've wronged my dogs and why.
  • How I struggle with addiction and why I still feel hopeless sometimes.
  • Why it took me fourteen years to tell a best friend, “I love you.”
  • My history with quickly quitting anything that seems hard.
  • How I'm not “loyal to the absent.”

 

 

Resources and Items Mentioned in This Episode:

Topics

  • [02:10] The context behind what I've been withholding
  • [09:52] The event that finally pushed me to record this episode
  • [15:45] Why I hit record and what I'm scared of
  • [19:49] I'm rich. Like, really, really rich.
  • [22:33] Sometimes I treat my dogs like crap
  • [25:14] Why and how SimpleREV brings out the worst in me
  • [32:33] Sugar and video game addictions (past and present)
  • [36:05] Ways I like to put on a show
  • [38:48] Withholding in and with my most important relationships
  • [48:13] How much I work and whether I actually like it
  • [51:49] Why I often quit when things seem hard
  • [55:27] The silver linings and takeaways

How to Join the Authenticity/Vulnerability Parade

I believe so much of our suffering comes from lying. That so much of our pain comes from withholding.

So if you have something big to get off your chest, leave a comment below and tell us one thing that you've been withholding for days … months … even years.

It will feel gooood. But perhaps more importantly, it will help others understand that this vulnerability, authenticity, intentional living thing? It's to be embraced, not avoided.

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Transcript

The transcript will not be available until I find a new transcriptionist (if you know someone good, let me know).

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