What I'm WithholdingDo you like doing things that scare the bejesus out of you?

I'm a fan of freaking yourself out – and maybe even others in the process – as long as it's intentional and for a good cause.

Well, I'm extremely intentional in this solo episode as I champion the causes of authenticity, vulnerability, and freedom through letting go.

The first question you may have after listening a bit is, “Wait … did he really go there?” And the answer is, “Yes. Yes I did.”

I've been withholding much of who I was, who I am, and who I want to be for far too long, and that ends now.

But I'm scared. Straight. Up. Scared.

I'm afraid that (just for starters):

  1. My words are too raw, too crude, or I've otherwise screwed up something between my brain and mouth that you'll hear way different than I intended.
  2. People will look down upon me as “unredeemable” in some ways.
  3. There are no “take backs” now that I've hit publish.
  4. I'm a giant hypocrite.
  5. What I say will come across as self-absorbed, self-important, and – more than anything – radically unkind to myself and what I try to represent in the world.
  6. I'll need explain the unexplainable, issue disclaimers, and provide way too much context for people to really understand why I feel the way and I do.

I'm intensely grateful for what and who I have in my life, but I'm super entitled at the same time. I'm a stumbling, bumbling contradiction who's just about done withholding all this crap I've kept inside for years.

So if you want to know how rich I am, how poorly I've treated my dogs, how controlling I get on “leaderless” projects, how bad my sugar binging still is, how much I love putting on a show, how fearful I am to say “I love you,” how much work this lifestyle entrepreneur still does, and why I quit things that seem hard … just press play.

Podcasting is a naturally one-way transmission, but let's change it up now and create a two-way street (as you'll hear me explain towards the end of the episode). Heck, let's make it a roundabout and include friends and family who need this kind of frank conversation, too!

You're about to Learn …

  • Who I was, who I am, and who I want to be – truly and completely.
  • Just how freakin' rich I am.
  • Lots of things I'm scared of by publishing this episode.
  • Why SimpleREV makes me feel like an entitled parent (or spoiled brat).
  • How I've wronged my dogs and why.
  • How I struggle with addiction and why I still feel hopeless sometimes.
  • Why it took me fourteen years to tell a best friend, “I love you.”
  • My history with quickly quitting anything that seems hard.
  • How I'm not “loyal to the absent.”



Resources and Items Mentioned in This Episode:


  • [02:10] The context behind what I've been withholding
  • [09:52] The event that finally pushed me to record this episode
  • [15:45] Why I hit record and what I'm scared of
  • [19:49] I'm rich. Like, really, really rich.
  • [22:33] Sometimes I treat my dogs like crap
  • [25:14] Why and how SimpleREV brings out the worst in me
  • [32:33] Sugar and video game addictions (past and present)
  • [36:05] Ways I like to put on a show
  • [38:48] Withholding in and with my most important relationships
  • [48:13] How much I work and whether I actually like it
  • [51:49] Why I often quit when things seem hard
  • [55:27] The silver linings and takeaways

How to Join the Authenticity/Vulnerability Parade

I believe so much of our suffering comes from lying. That so much of our pain comes from withholding.

So if you have something big to get off your chest, leave a comment below and tell us one thing that you've been withholding for days … months … even years.

It will feel gooood. But perhaps more importantly, it will help others understand that this vulnerability, authenticity, intentional living thing? It's to be embraced, not avoided.

Awesome Ways to Subscribe to the Show

If you're not already subscribed for automatic notifications of a new show, please do so with one of the links below.


The transcript will not be available until I find a new transcriptionist (if you know someone good, let me know).

I'm Grateful for Your iTunes Reviews!

If you enjoyed this specific episode or the Smart and Simple Matters show in general, I always appreciate when people go to the iTunes page and leave an honest review. Every single review is a huge help and received with gratitude!

If you want to make me incredibly thankful, like the people who have recently left an iTunes review, here are the four quick steps (assuming iTunes is already installed):

  1. Visit the Smart and Simple Matters iTunes page here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/value-simple-podcast-joel/id545208089
  2. Click the blue button on the left labeled “View in iTunes” below the cover art of the show
  3. When iTunes loads, scroll down below the “Customer Reviews” section and click the link labeled “Write a Review”
  4. Write a review with whatever title you like, whatever length you have time for, and give the show an honest rating. If you don't think it deserves five stars, don't rate it as a five star show.

And if you have someone or something you'd like us to cover on an upcoming show, tell us in the comments below.