How Rich I Am, What Angers Me, and the Mess I’m Withholding from You – SASM 081

Do you like doing things that scare the bejesus out of you?

I'm a fan of freaking yourself out – and maybe even others in the process – as long as it's intentional and for a good cause.

Well, I'm extremely intentional in this solo episode as I champion the causes of authenticity, vulnerability, and freedom through letting go.

The first question you may have after listening a bit is, “Wait … did he really go there?” And the answer is, “Yes. Yes I did.”

I've been withholding much of who I was, who I am, and who I want to be for far too long, and that ends now.

But I'm scared. Straight. Up. Scared.

I'm afraid that (just for starters):

1. My words are too raw, too crude, or I've otherwise screwed up something between my brain and mouth that you'll hear way different than I intended.
2. People will look down upon me as “unredeemable” in some ways.
3. There are no “take backs” now that I've hit publish.
4. I'm a giant hypocrite.
5. What I say will come across as self-absorbed, self-important, and – more than anything – radically unkind to myself and what I try to represent in the world.
6. I'll need explain the unexplainable, issue disclaimers, and provide way too much context for people to really understand why I feel the way and I do.

I'm intensely grateful for what and who I have in my life, but I'm super entitled at the same time. I'm a stumbling, bumbling contradiction who's just about done withholding all this crap I've kept inside for years.

So if you want to know how rich I am, how poorly I've treated my dogs, how controlling I get on “leaderless” projects, how bad my sugar binging still is, how much I love putting on a show, how fearful I am to say “I love you,” how much work this lifestyle entrepreneur still does, and why I quit things that seem hard … just press play.

Podcasting is a naturally one-way transmission, but let's change it up now and create a two-way street (as you'll hear me explain towards the end of the episode). Heck, let's make it a roundabout and include friends and family who need this kind of frank conversation, too!

You're about to Learn …

• Who I was, who I am, and who I want to be – truly and completely.
• Just how freakin' rich I am.
• Lots of things I'm scared of by publishing this episode.
• Why SimpleREV makes me feel like an entitled parent (or spoiled brat).
• How I've wronged my dogs and why.
• How I struggle with addiction and why I still feel hopeless sometimes.
• Why it took me fourteen years to tell a best friend, “I love you.”
• My history with quickly quitting anything that seems hard.
• How I'm not “loyal to the absent.”

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Resources and Items Mentioned in This Episode:

• Websites:
  • Smart and Simple Matters on Patreon
• Resources:
  • SimpleREV Local
  • The Authentic Relating Games Handbook
• Books:
  • The Art of Asking
  • The Heart of Addiction
• Podcast Episodes
  • Why You Need More Nothing With Jessie Kinowski – SASM031
• Blog Posts:
  • Mike Hrostoski: What Are You Withholding?
  • Joshua Becker: The Freedom of Authenticity (and 7 of My Biggest Flaws)
  • Leo Babauta: I Failed
  • Mike Burns: Loyal to the Absent (Part 3): “Sometimes I Suck at This…”
  • The Biggest Risk I Ever Took (and Why I'm Better Off for Being Terrible)
  • Screw 80-20: Let’s Do 99-1 (A Tribute to Destroying Addictions)

Topics

• [02:10] The context behind what I've been withholding
• [09:52] The event that finally pushed me to record this episode
• [15:45] Why I hit record and what I'm scared of
• [19:49] I'm rich. Like, really, really rich.
• [22:33] Sometimes I treat my dogs like crap
• [25:14] Why and how SimpleREV brings out the worst in me
• [32:33] Sugar and video game addictions (past and present)
• [36:05] Ways I like to put on a show
• [38:48] Withholding in and with my most important relationships
• [48:13] How much I work and whether I actually like it
• [51:49] Why I often quit when things seem hard
• [55:27] The silver linings and takeaways

How to Join the Authenticity/Vulnerability Parade

I believe so much of our suffering comes from lying. That so much of our pain comes from withholding.

So if you have something big to get off your chest, leave a comment below and tell us one thing that you've been withholding for days … months … even years.

It will feel gooood. But perhaps more importantly, it will help others understand that this vulnerability, authenticity, intentional living thing? It's to be embraced, not avoided.

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Transcript

The transcript will not be available until I find a new transcriptionist (if you know someone good, let me know).

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